I Almost Gave Up on Being an Artist
“Maybe I should just forget about this pipe dream of being an artist, and get a regular job again!”
That’s what I told my wife in the summer of 2009.
Earlier that year, I decided to go “all-in,” full-time as an artist…after losing my job as a service technician trainer at Filterqueen, a vacuum/filtration company. My job was downsized because of the Great Recession. After an insightful (and uncomfortable) conversation with my mother-in-law, I decided to not look for a job, but rather pursue my dream of being a professional artist.
I had wanted to for years. “What is it that you think God has called you to do?” she asked. She noticed that I didn’t like my current job, and was almost always on the road—never home for my wife and young children.
“I’ve always wanted to be a full-time artist,” I said.
“Well, why aren’t you doing it, then?” she probed.
“Um, because I’m afraid my bills won’t get paid,” I replied reluctantly.
“What?! You can trust God to meet your needs?”
It was like a dagger to the heart.
This conversation took place PRIOR to my boss deciding to let me go. So, even though I didn’t see that coming, I knew I had a green light to pursue my career as an artist. I went all in!
Immediately, after letting people know that this was my new path in life, I was commissioned to do a painting for a friend at church. He wanted an illustration of the “Greatest Commandment” (Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and your neighbor as yourself.) This is what I painted for him. Here is that painting, a 24″ x 30,” acrylic on canvas.
It was like God was confirming, YES, this is my path for you. Roll with it!
Things went well for a few months. I got more commissions. It looked like it was only up from here.
But then…
…the “brook dried up.” Kind of like Elijah, in the way God provided for Him, and then, there was nothing. He was thirsty. He was in need.
I felt like that. No commissions, no income. Now what?
Soon, I got a call from my landlord. I hadn’t paid rent that month.
“When will you be sending the rent money?” he asked. Not an unreasonable question.
I had a pit in my stomach like a stone. What would I do? My family was counting on me. I had a wife and two young children.
Clearly, I remember it. My wife and I had a conversation up in my little 9″ x 13″ bedroom—my studio. And that’s when I told Leah, I was thinking of quitting being a full-time artist. And getting a job again.
She looked me right in the eyes. “Matt, I don’t care if we struggle financially. But if you don’t do what God has called you to do, then I’ll be mad at you!”
“What do we do, then?” I replied back. “Rent is overdue, and we don’t have it. Not even close.”
“We need to pray,” she said, “and fast.”
“How long?”
“As long as it takes!” My wife doesn’t mince words.
So we did. We prayed and sought God like never before. We had no one else to turn to. As I prayed—in our kitchen—I had this very clear thought:
“Matt, what would you do if you had the rent money in your hands, right now?”
I felt that it was God speaking to me.
“Well, I would be really happy. I would be thanking You. I would be praising You!” I said.
“Do that right now, then.”
Okay.
“Thank you, Lord, for the rent money.” I lifted up my hands.
And as I said that, I felt as if I literally DID have the rent money in my hands! I felt this download of joy, right from heaven.
“Leah, we’re done praying. God has answered us. We have the rent money.”
Later that week at church, a guy came up to me out of the blue. He said, “Matt, I’d like to commission you to do some artwork for me. I don’t know for sure what I want done yet, I’ll have to give you a picture later, but here’s a check to get you started.”
Wow! With that, and some other provision, we had the rent money in just a couple of days!
It was enough to keep me going on the path as a full-time artist.
I thank God for my wife, Leah. We’ve been married for 20 years. She’s put up with a lot. She wouldn’t let me quit as an artist, even when I wanted to so many times.
And so it is my delight to paint a portrait of her again.
I launched my first online painting class in 2017. Since that time, hundreds of students have taken that course, and so many have painted their own beautiful portrait, even with little experience! I feel like it’s time to do it again–new and improved. I’ll be launching this new version of “Paint Your First Amazing Acrylic Portrait” very soon.
Whatever your goal is as an artist, I’d like to encourage you too, just like my wife did for me. Maybe you don’t want to do art full time, but rather as a side hobby to paint beautiful portraits of those you love.
I’d like to cheer you on. And say, despite any voices to the contrary, YOU CAN DO IT.
I’ll be here to help you every step of the way, as much as I possibly can.
Blessings,
Matt
P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts below. Have you ever felt like quitting? What did you do? If you found this post, encouraging, please share it with a friend!
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