Anytime you decide to do something that takes faith, you can be sure that your faith will be tested.
Count on it.
As a working professional artist, I can attest personally that this is true.
God opened the door for me to do art full-time in the recession of 2009, when I lost a well-paying job as a traveling vacuum/ filtration equipment trainer. Before my boss gave me notice, my mother-in-law had a very frank discussion with her 32-year-old son-in-law about his future.
“You’re in a dead-end job, Matt. You’re stressed out all the time, and you don’t ever see your family. What is it that you think God has called you to do?”
“I’ve always wanted to be a full-time artist,” I replied.
“Well, why aren’t you doing it, then?” she shot back.
“Umm…because I’m afraid my bills won’t get paid?”
“What!? You can’t trust God to meet your needs?”
Ouch.
It was a dagger straight to the heart.
At that point, I knew I had to decide to do art full time, or I would regret it years later. Yes, I could trust God to meet my needs!
When my boss terminated my position just a week or two later, it was like a green light to go. I was ready to say goodbye to regular employment and embark on this new adventure of professional art!
Immediately, after announcing my new career to friends and family, I got commissioned portraits right away. My future was looking bright!
This continued until the middle of the year, and then “the brook dried up.”
I had no commissions, no income, a family to provide for and rent to pay. My landlord called me asking me where his rent money was.
My stomach sank to the floor.
“Maybe this whole thing about being a full-time artist was a pipe dream,” I moaned to my wife, head down. “Maybe I should go back and get a real job again.”
“No. We didn’t go through all of this for you to fail now.” She looked me right in the eyes. “I don’t care if we struggle financially, but if you don’t do what God has called you to do, then I will be mad at you!”
“So what do we do, then? We have no money for rent!”
“We need to pray,” she said, matter-of-factly. “And fast.”
“How long?” I didn’t like the idea of fasting.
“As long as it takes!”
We did pray, and fast. We were desperate and needed God to move.
I remember distinctly as we were praying in the kitchen that I had a very clear thought pop into my head. It went something like this:
Matt, what would you do if you had that rent money in your hands, right now?
It was like God was speaking right to me. “I would be praising You, thanking You,” I replied.
I want you to do that, right now.
“Okay, Lord,” I said, getting up from the floor. I held up my hands, and said, “Thank You, Lord, for the rent money.”
Now, my outstretched hands had nothing in them, but you couldn’t have convinced me that I wasn’t holding rent money in my hands at that moment. I felt a wave of faith, peace and joy settle right on me. Actually, it was more like a flood, a download from heaven!
“Thank You, LORD! We have the rent money!” I knew it was as good as done.
“We’re done praying, Leah,” I exclaimed to my wife. “We have it, and God is going to do it!”
The next day at church, a guy walked up to me. He said, “Matt, I’d like to commission you to do a portrait for me. I don’t know exactly what I want done yet, but I’d like to give you this to get you started.”
It was a check. I’d like to say it was for the exact amount of our rent, but it wasn’t. However, in the next few days, the rest came in, and we had the rent money!
Not Enough…Again
About seven years later my art business was growing. I had steady portrait work, I moved into a community art studio and I began teaching classes.
But I had a bad month toward the end of 2016. Not only did I not have money for my studio rent, but I didn’t have money for house rent either.
And I got that same dreaded call from my landlord: “When are you paying rent?”
You would think that I’d remember how God provided for me in times past. In an amazing profession of faith, I’d puff out my chest, pull on my suspender straps (if I wore suspenders) and proclaim: “I am not worried in the least. God will provide!”
But I didn’t. Not even close. I told Leah about the landlord’s call.
She said, “So?”
My wife obviously didn’t want to hear me complain.
Where else could I go? Discouragement was hitting me like a 20-ton logging truck. I retreated to my bedroom, shut the door, and poured my heart to the Lord in prayer.
I prayed, and prayed, but felt nothing. No outpouring of faith, peace and joy. Just the magnitude of our financial predicament.
With that burden, I went to bed. The next day, I had an art show at our community studio.
“Get your head in the game,” I told myself. I had to put on a smile and be presentable to the public.
As I dragged myself out of the car and into the art studio, still discouraged, I offered one more limp prayer to God.
“God, you’re a big God, so I’m going to pray a big prayer. I pray I would sell ‘Smoldering Wick” today at the show.”
Why not? Why not ask big when I felt as low as I could go? What did I have to lose?
“Smoldering Wick” was a 30 x 40 acrylic on canvas painting I had just finished in time for the show. I felt it was my best painting I had ever done, and I priced it accordingly. An illustration of Isaiah 42, it depicts a man going through a time of intense discouragement and despair. The idea for this painting developed in response to a soul-searching time of prayer and brokenness over my own sins.
“Smoldering Wick,” 30 x 40, acrylic on canvas, 2016, by Matt Philleo
I had been on my knees, with my Bible open, and I found this promise: “a bruised reed He will not break and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out.”
As I read these words, joy flooded my heart. My Bible literally became wet with tears. It confirmed to me again, I am saved not because of my own efforts, but because of the trustworthiness of God, revealed through His promises!
In the painting, the man’s servant encourages him in his time of need, while turning up the flame on His lamp. It symbolically portrays Jesus Christ, the suffering servant who identifies with our weaknesses and yet compassionately encourages us, promising to never snuff out our hope.
But at this moment, I didn’t feel hope. I literally felt like the man I had painted—discouraged and defeated.
Matt Philleo posing for “Smoldering Wick”
Not many attended our little art show. But toward the end of the day, a couple walked in. They seemed captivated by the painting and asked me about its meaning. I had already shared with several people that day and explained the symbolism to them just as I did to the others.
They looked at it for a while. Then one whispered to the other: “Where should we put it? Above the grand?”
“Maybe. Did you pay off the card?”
They discussed details like this for a while. I knew enough to keep my mouth shut.
“Do you take cards?” they asked.
“I do. I can scan it through my phone right here.”
“We’ll take it!”
Inside, I wanted to jump up and down like a little boy who was just told he would be going to Disneyland.
But instead, I held it together.
“That’s fantastic,” I said, shaking their hands as calmly as I could. “Congratulations! This is now your painting!”
After we took care of a few details and they left, I looked up and began to pray.
“Lord, what did you just do? Even though my faith was lagging, you still answered my prayer! Thank You, Lord! We have the rent money!”
You can be sure that when you step out in faith, your faith will be tested. And there is perhaps no other profession like the arts that stretches us in this way. But if you seek God, and remain true to the calling you were given, even in the tough times, God will provide for you!
Let me know what you thought of this story in the comments below. Have you ever had a time where your faith was tested? How did things turn out?
If you liked this post, please share it with your friends. Thanks and God bless you!—Matt
You are always an inspiration to me Matt
Hi Matt
This is a very inspiring story! God has lifted me many times in my life when I felt lost! So thank-you for sharing your story! I’m always a fan of your work and your teachings. God Bless! Merci!
Thanks, Diane. God bless you!
There are times I jump straight into painting, as I am impatient! I neglect to invite God to paint through me and every time, the paintings never turn out well! God is trying to show me that I cannot do this without Him!!!!
Yep! Me too. It’s amazing how I forget to pray. I have to say, “Lord, forgive me for thinking I could do this in my own strength. Please help me!” And He does. Some can paint without God, and do it very well. But isn’t it great that God will not allow His children to get away with that? (Not for long, anyway.) He is more concerned about us being close to Him than having everything we want. I love Him for that!
Thank you, Matt, for sharing your inspirational story. May God continue to Bless you and your family. I have seen “Smoldering Wick” before and I agree it is one of your best. In my life I have found God to be there for me. I have not been motivated to paint this past year. I hope with God’s help and your help, I will be on that path again.
Hi Brenda, yes may God bless you to begin painting. It’s hard because of the shame of not doing it for so long. But you can accomplish a lot with the time you have left. Think of Jesus. Of course, He never sinned, and followed God’s plan for His life to the finest detail, but He didn’t start His public ministry until He was about 30 years old. Then it all ended about 3 years later. And think of what He got done in that short amount of time! I would say, one day doing God’s will can amount to more than 80 years doing our own! Blessings to you.
Wonderful story Matt. Thank you. I am in awe of your talent and gift to teach others. I also listen to Joyce Meyer. She says the same thing, God will provide.
I paint pet memorials. Some pets are as part of peoples’ families as their children. With every new memorial I pray I can give their pet back to them in a way that evokes the emotion they had while their baby was alive. Blessings on you Matt.
Hi Lainie, yes, praying makes a difference in your artwork. It imparts something special into it, that “secret ingredient” that touches people at a deep level, even beyond emotions. May God bless your memorial portraits richly!!
Thank you Matt! That was such an encouragement to me. I too am an artist and the way you described your struggle just touched my heart with so much hope and reminded me we serve the same God. He will provide all our needs! Thank you so much and prayers for continued success as you glorify God with your talent. Donna
As always Matt, inspiring. I do love that picture that you did of the smoldering wick. A friend and also a preacher once told me that he felt that God sometimes talks to us through our wives, I have to think that is true ( I don’t let my wife know that ).
Hmm, I’ll need to ask my wife before I reply to you. On second thought, maybe not! LOL.
Thank you, Matt! While I am not relying on my painting to earn a living, I have had a few commissions and wanted them to really WOW the customer. They were some of my best work, but they didn’t wow ME! The customer insisted on paying me anyway and tried to make me feel the works were perfect; they just didn’t please ME!
Your passage really lifted me. I’ve been praying that my customers will like their portraits. I now want to pray that I improve my painting skills so I can feel about my work as you did with the Smoldering Wick. To me, when you KNOW deep down that it’s good and it’s from within, the customer will know it, as well.
I trust God will work this out for me and the start is through you and what you are sharing with us aspiring artists. Again, thank you!!
You’re very welcome, Gerri! Yes, we all want to feel we are doing our best work. And I want for you to feel that way too. But enjoy the journey. One of my paintings that I wasn’t pleased with certain aspects of, became one of my most popular paintings. People were really drawn to it. Then, I started to like it too! I could see what it was in the painting that they were drawn to, instead of the parts I thought weren’t so good. Keep praying, painting and be blessed!
Thank you so much, Leslie!
Yes, yes, God is our best friend, and that’s how He wants us to treat Him. So many times we pour out our troubles on others, and they’re not equipped to take it. God should be our first source of strength. But in His mercy, He does provide good friends as well. I hope God will provide those people in your life, and those who already are will come alongside you when you need it the most!
Wow, what a story, Pamela! You went through the adversity, did what you had to do to get through. God blessed you in it. As it says in the scriptures, “we went through fire and through water, but You brought us out to rich fulfillment.” I bet you’ll never forget how God turned that around for you!
Thanks for the kind words, Merle. I’m glad you’ve experienced the faithfulness of God in your life as well. God is still working on me. There is a lot of pride to be rooted out—just ask my wife or mother-in-law—:) But we are all a work in progress, and I thank God for who He has made me to be in Christ. That is the place of security where we can move and do and serve others. Yes, I would like to share how I got saved and I think very soon, I will! Blessings to you.
Thanks, Jamie! It’s a struggle sometimes to remember how much God loves us. But it honors Him to know we need that love and to receive it. I am still learning, but God is so wonderfully patient and merciful. God bless you richly!!
Yes, we can trust God wherever we are and whatever situation we face. My wife is very steady and strong. She is very loyal, and I so appreciate that about her!
Robert, this is fantastic! Not that you have cancer, of course. I do pray for your healing. And we have several promises of healing in the Bible. I have been miraculously healed, and seen it happen to others. May He do that for you, too! But it is wonderful that, according to your testimony, it’s brought you back to the Lord. I leave room, knowing the sovereignty of God, to be okay with what He wants to do. His divine prerogative, sometimes, is to use suffering to bring His straying children back, or to keep us on the path. Trust. That’s the number one thing that God wants from us. It all flows out from that. God bless you and heal you in Jesus’ name!
Yes. Trusting God is what it’s all about.
Yes, you’re preaching it! I thank God for His mercy. I don’t want to slip away from God. I think we have to recognize, that there IS a possibility of falling away. I’ve struggled with this, and I know theologians have too—people much smarter and more devoted in their faith than I—but I think the fact that we *could* slip away from God makes His saving power all the more glorious. I remember once, when my son was younger, and we lived in the city, we were walking. We stopped at the busy street while traffic was rushing back and forth. I thought, if he darted into that traffic, it would be “lights out” for him. But then I thought, “I’m holding his hand so tight, there’s no way he could get out of my grasp. And if he tried, I would dart out to snatch him back!” It made me think of God. There is a real danger of leaving God. There’s a real devil, a real hell. There’s sin and wickedness to avoid. But because God is such a good, good Father, He won’t just let His children run headlong into destruction without restraint. I’m not saying this is doctrine. It all has to agree with scripture. But it gave me comfort to know that God is keeping me!